It has been a while since I’ve posted. A lot of that time has been spent in introspection of my own spiritual journey. That and a trip to the USA to introduce my son to my wife’s family.
The beauty of introspection, is that I was able to assess my own issues, and not frame them in the experiences of another organization and or individuals.
What this introspection (which included a fair amount of divination with my Ogam) showed me was that the problem I had with ADF (and other organizations) were mostly personal, though a few were systemic with ADF. Another post for another day.
While I was in ADF (which I technically still am) I always maintained (and it remains true) that the Warriors Guild was what attracted me to the organization. It has however been close to five years since I enjoyed the guild. I never regained my innate hope that I once held.
So I decided to talk with myself over what did I want from my spirituality?
- I want to form a relationship with my tribe, be that kin, kith, or my Gods, spirits etc. The concept of *ghosti applies here. It always shall I think. That is near and dear to me.
- Intellectual, emotional, and physical responsibility needs to be held. I am the keeper of my own actions (unless something horrible happens). This is ever more evident as I settle into being a parent. I once let myself forget this need to be responsible for myself. I almost lost my family, and I did lose my dog. Visiting her on the trip to the USA was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I cried every single day. In the end I feel she forgave me. But I’m never putting myself back in that place.
- Being honest about my motives. Being honest with regards to the evidence. I’m a scientist, and I’ve at times alluded to the wish to be a Druid (I now don’t). If I can’t be honest, or the organization I belong to can’t be, I don’t belong. I reserve the right to exclude those I do not see as worthy of my presence or me of theirs
There are more requirements, which really don’t need to be spoken too (its between me and my Deities of worship).
So my membership lapses in December. I hold an office (Gael Kin Chief) which does not lapse for another year. I need to decide if I stay, to finish that term, OR if I go, and allow ADF to walk its own path, and me my own….
What I will say, is its been a while since I have looked into my own soul, and something looked back 🙂